tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36565539682954867202024-03-05T17:09:30.833-08:00Schmit HappensAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-34814829154483044992014-02-05T12:52:00.000-08:002014-02-05T12:52:33.568-08:00Would somebody PLEASE turn down my GRIEF!?!?!?Its almost that day again. And today I can't concentrate. I have my textbook in front of me and I've looked at the same page for almost 30 minutes.<br />
Tomorrow will be Zachary's birthday but February 5th is when the whole spiral started. Waking up and laying on the couch willing movement from my womb. Having to wake up Thomas and not completely freak out. Sitting in the ER waiting for a Ultrasound. Before the tech even put the warm goo on my belly I knew in my heart that my baby was not alive. Within 2 minutes of her putting the wand to my stomach I knew the answer. She quietly put away her weapon of truth and walked out of the room. Yup, that was the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. <br />
Chapter 1, Giving Birth<br />
Chapter 2, Memorial Service<br />
Chapter 3, I can't be Left Alone<br />
Chapter 4, Time for Change<br />
Chapter 5, Here is your sign<br />
Chapter 6, Autopsy Results<br />
Chapter 6,Ummmmm....yup another Baby on the way<br />
Chapter 7, Keep Holding Your Breath you've still got 7 months to get through<br />
Chapter 8, Yeah! Bed rest (still holding my breath)<br />
Chapter 9, Here you go Mom, I picked a Baby Sister<br />
Chapter10, I can't do this you are everywhere<br />
Chapter 11, Yes you can do this, I'll help<br />
Chapter, Chapter, Chapter, Chapter........Chapter 41, hold your breath, Chapter 71, I picked a Baby Brother, Chapter, Chapter, Chapter, Chapter 350, Oops, Not so much Chapter 527, Hey Mom, I picked another Baby Sister, Chapter, Chapter,Chapter.....................more chapters then I can count<br />
15 years, thousands of chapters, 15 years on this river. This last year has been such a roller coaster, and the last month I have been spinning on a tilt-a whirl and praying to find the strength to keep spinning. My mind has turned mushy the last 2 days. Is it the homework, or is it the grief, threatening to swallow me? The tears don't come, is this good or bad? My fuse is short, but its not lit. I don't think HELL has 15 minute parking anymore, but should I check? (Well maybe I was there a little longer, like a few days, at least it was WARM!!!!!! )<br />
Why is this consuming me this year? It's so loud, is there a waterfall up ahead? Is it the new stress adding to it? OR, do I just need a break from it all. Not like give me a room at St.Peter, but a break? But how do I take that break? How do I say no? How do I find my smooth ride? I need to try to steer this boat back to some soft babbling brook, not this class Please Let Me Off This Ride rapids. But how am I going to do that? How can I quiet that waterfall up ahead? Or, do I need to go over the falls, am I reaching a point in my grief where I've been lingering to long? Do I need to take the plunge and get to some different waters, another river, a lake, a stream, a brook......<br />
Tomorrow morning, weather willing I will be up lighting a candle or 2 and maybe even send up a lantern. Maybe an answer will find me. Maybe Zach will send me a little sign. But for today, I will continue with my mushy brain, the loud waterfall and see where tomorrow leads me.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-14981412541508579452014-01-13T21:17:00.003-08:002014-01-13T21:17:37.927-08:00Christmas letter meet 2014<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"> New Year
Greetings to y’all!</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">December
came and went and the cards are still sitting on the buffet waiting for a
letter! So in the effort to get things done, here we go….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2013 was not
a stellar year in so many ways….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">January
brought a Breast Cancer diagnosis for my Mom (Carol) who shares our home. Within days of her diagnosis she had a double
mastectomy and started down a path that included 18 weeks of heavy dose chemo
followed by 33 sessions of radiation. We
mastered walking on egg shells as Grandma was very sick. Thankfully we made it through!!! In February
she goes back to the oncologist for a 6 month checkup, so far so good. She is also retired now so that has been a
HUGE adjustment for all of us having her home 24/7. We are very thankful for all the prayers and
positive energy that was sent our way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">March
brought Annika to Children’s Hospital for a few days as she had a Ureteral Reimplantation
to correct her kidney reflux. After 4+
years of daily antibiotics, it was decided it needed to be fixed
surgically. A lot of research, prayer
and doctor input went into this decision.
Grandpa Dennis (Thomas’ dad) came and helped keep me company during
surgery and helped keep an eye on Grandma and manage the big kids. It gave me
some time to learn more about his Navy days which was very interesting. After about 2 weeks our little rock star was
back to bouncing around and we haven’t looked back. No more daily meds </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">April
brought us back to Children’s Hospital, but this time for Linnea. She had a very nasty fall in our bathroom
that resulted in a seizure (our bathroom is VERY small and she hit the door,
wall and floor at the same time) after multiple tests, visits with a neurologist,
cardiologist and a neurosurgeon it was determined it was hopefully a onetime
incident. She will continue to be
monitored for the next few years by the neurologist and with MRIs. She has also suffered from recurring sinus
infections and ear infections and now migraines are being added to the
mix. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">June brought
Thomas to the Gastroentoloigist for problematic acid reflux. It was found he had quite a few ulcers. He probably got a few more with me being his chauffeur
home from his appointments after some happy juice was administered to check on
things </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> thankfully after treating things
with medicine he is ulcer free, a big relief and surprise considering the
stress of the last year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">July,
August, September, October, and November were major medical free except for
routine doctor appointments and rechecks.
December brought Annika back to the surgical ward for another
surgery. She had her highly infected
tonsils removed along with her adenoids and sinus surgery at the same
time. A week before surgery she had her
first ear infection in 5 years. We are
hoping it was a fluke and we won’t need tubes at some point soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>The year may
have had its share of lows but we also had some big milestones and fun. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Linnea
officially became a teenager on January 25.
She is becoming quite a young woman.
She is into her music which focuses on hard rock, heavy metal, and a
large emphasis on 80’s rock. Who would
have thought our cassettes would get a second life with our kid! She went to
church camp in June and a week later took her first solo plane ride to Atlanta
to spend time with Grandpa. She has been really great with the frequent
doctoring and has managed to maintain her sense of humor (definitely my kid</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">) she started playing drums in
September and is quickly picking up her musical chops. She is blazing her own
trail and of course testing the waters with mom and dad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ulrik has
remained ever so great. He has been
gifted with some great friends who have let him escape from home and crash with
them for a few days here and there. He
took Grandmas diagnosis pretty hard. I’m
so thankful for his wonderful teacher and his friends who helped him
through. He continues to be our “Danger
Dude” jumping from great heights (scaring his Mom), blasting his enemies (GI
Joe) and inventing new tricks. He takes
acoustic guitar lessons 1 night a week and often serenades our morning routine
with his practicing. He played “We wish
you a Merry Christmas” at the holiday program in December, I was so proud of
his efforts and as his Mom his perfect performance </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> He continues to be our tender heart
and is slowly beginning to blaze his path in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Annika…our
little Annika. She has been a rock star with all the doctor appointments for
herself and being brought along for Linnea and Grandma Appointments. She has continued with preschool this year
and will definitely be kindergarten ready come September. She is looking forward to riding the big
bus. She is our budding artist. She loves to paint the most, but crayons and
markers are close behind. She is always
making things to give to others, so generous</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> She likes to help with almost
anything, dishes, vacuuming, laundry, but put an art project in front of her
and she loses all sense of time. She likes to push the buttons of her siblings,
Piper and Mom, but she can be a sweetheart more often than not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thomas went
to Alaska in July to visit his brother Bracy and family. It was a much needed break from storm season
which started off early and with a lot of extra hours. Also a welcome break from the craziness of
the last 6 months. He continues at Xcel
Energy marking 14 years this past June.
He is planning a family camping trip this summer which could be very
interesting, as the most we have done was some camping with the kids last
summer, in the front and back yards</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> He continues to entertain the boys
in the evenings, right now they are all building models. It will be fun to see
how they each turn out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As for me,
the head honcho of this party, I thankfully was blessed with remaining sane
through every curveball that was tossed our way last year. My mantra is
tattooed on my left arm as a daily reminder: JUST BREATHE. I continue to watch my sisters kids
Matthew(9) and Piper(3 ½). My sister is divorcing and became a department
manager at Menards at the same time; this has brought on a lot of extra time
with the kids at our house. It has made
for some louder days and evenings with the 5 kids cooped up in the house, but
we have a good routine now and everyone has gotten into the groove. We also
have my nieces Donna(16) and Natalie(14) over quite a bit as everyone wants to
spend time with Grandma, and each other.
I’m thankful the 7 hooligans get along (most days) so we can enjoy time
together. I have been the main,
cheerleader, chaffier, doctor, nurse, cook, accountant, court jester, etc. for
14 years now. On January 2, I started
college. I’m taking online courses which
are nice because I can still manage the house and kids, but it has been a new
challenge to my time management skills</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> if everything goes right I should be done with
school and looking for a job when Piper starts kindergarten. I’m going for an
Associates degree as a Medical Administrative Assistant, with a goal of
becoming a Care Coordinator at a hospital or clinic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We were able
to find one weekend to make a family vacation happen. Thomas cousin was married in September in
Iowa, giving us a reason to get a hotel room for a few days and just relax. It was so great to see family that we haven’t
in a while as time escapes you sometimes as your family grows! We have blessed
with some wonderful friends and family who have brought a meal, let us invade
their space for a day(for a mental health break</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">) taken kids for a night or 2 to give
them a break from the egg shells that seemed to replace the floors for the last year. The kids have been awesome through everything
this last year. We have found a way to
practice our mantra “find one thing to be thankful for everyday” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We hope last
year was good for you and everyone had a Merry Christmas and Happy New
Year. While the last year brought
challenges, in the end it is LIFE, you live it, you embrace it and deal with
the curveballs you get thrown. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many
Blessings for a wonderful year!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Libby,
Thomas, Linnea, Ulrik, Annika and our little guardian Zachary </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Having a
place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family.
Having both - is a blessing. ~Donna Hedges</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-49007439007427745752013-11-19T11:10:00.001-08:002013-11-19T11:10:24.776-08:00Abandon...neglect....hurt...I have abandoned projects.....but never my children<br />
I have neglected things......this blog, my housework, my self.<br />
I am hurt.......I'm struggling.......I'm surviving.<br />
<br />
I am here in my room trying to finish a neglected project. Why have I neglected this one for a multitude of reasons. It is clothes my kids have outgrown. Clothes I wanted to save or feel compelled to save. When Linnea was a baby I saved EVERYTHING!! We hoped for more children. She was the first little girl on Thomas' side of the family. We were all over the moon to have a healthy little baby in our arms. Ms. Monte (Thomas' mom) was happy to hit the clearance racks for cute pink, colorful outfits, especially after 5 grandsons! We had the largest Rubbermaid we could find, we nicknamed them " the coffins." They were full of clothes, memories....I saved it all...but why! Because I thought I needed to or I wouldn't have the memory to go with it. I was generous and allowed a few special people to go through the coffins and take a few things knowing they would be well used and were appreciated. But I was very selective in the items I let go of. When we found out we were going to be blessed with Ulrik I went down stairs to sort through the clothes. I knew there were a few non gender specific items, and so what if he wore a onesie with a few flowers on it, I was recycling. My heart fell into my stomach when I opened the first coffin. I guess there was a reason we called it a coffin. When the basement had gotten wet there was a crack in the bottom of the coffin that we didn't know about. I opened a box of molded mush...mush...that's what the first 12 months of clothes, memories had been turned into. I opened a second coffin and it too had gone mushy only on the bottom half. When I was done removing the coffins all my Mom had rescued was reduced to a sandwich size Ziploc with a little piece of this and a little piece of that. Wow!!! I learned 2 very important lessons...<br />
1.Bigger isn't always better<br />
2. You cant physically save everything.<br />
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So now I'm here with this project, this seemingly overwhelming task that I've been putting off for weeks, months honestly years. I'm choking as I look at the things I've saved, my Mom is laughing at some items. Ulriks Wolverine shirt that talked, honestly the coolest shirt for a kid who didn't talk. It is so faded and the magic "talk "button sounds a bit demented. But it was his favorite!!!! Ive saved dresses both Linnea and Annika wore. Thankfully anything over 18 months with the exception of 1 or 2 items was saved! But I learned to pick and choose. Ive saved a blanket a ratty old receiving blanket. I bought it for Zachary and finally let the other kids use it. T-shirts from a trip we took... there is a memory there. Will the memory fade if I don't save it, maybe,or will the item bring back the memory and be a story to tell my grandchildren one day, I can hope. I can hope to see granddaughters wearing the dresses and sweaters my Mom made for their Moms. The girls wore a sweater that was mine! <br />
<br />
So did the loss of those clothes...the mush really take away all the memories, did it make the first year of Linneas life less important, less meaningful, less real, less hurtful, less mushy.....? No it didn't. It sucked having to drag those coffins out to the curb. I cried when I had to do it...being hormonally imbalanced at the time didn't help! But I still had Linnea, I had pictures, i just didn't have anything physical to share with her. Would she really care that I didn't have the outfit she wore in her first portrait, would this drive her straight to the psych ward in St.Peter. No she wouldn't care, now if it was today and the house burned down she would probably go crazy over loosing her platform boots and tripp pants! But in the end they are just things. Those coffins were full of just things, the clothes Ive handed down, sold, dropped at the thrift store they are just things. Not the memories, not the important stuff, not the story, not my children. They can not be replaced...this i know for a fact. Do I need to spend money on Space Bags and paper to put these things away? Yes, but why? Because I want to, I need to. I cant let go of everything, but then again it can still be lost........<br />
<br />
BUT I CAN TRY!!! TRY TO HOLD ON, TRY TO SAVOR A MEMORY, TRY TO REMIND MYSELF, MY KIDS. Try to remember when things are going all wobbly and i just want to crawl in bed and wait for the crap to go away to get to a better day, try to savor a memory. Of a day when something was good, everyone was happy, not looking at everything that was wrong. I can try to just remember without needing something physical to show me the memory.<br />
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I'm going to hope that all my work and tears with this project don't get ruined. No storm comes through and rips them away. No mouse finds his way into what is supposed to be a indestructible bag. I'm putting some hope in those bags. I hope it doesn't get sucked into the vacuum. That thing really doesn't need the hope, I need it. I need something to grab onto. <br />
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Hope is a tough sell these days. Trying to find it sometimes feels like looking for the last chocolate bar hidden somewhere in the back of the cabinet (only to discover a little chocolate thief took it). But it is around, you cant give up on it. Or can i? I wont give up on hope, I've given up on other things, but not this one. I go to bed hoping the dish fairy came (hasn't happened but hey I'm HOPING)! I hope my hubs is happy i completed a long awaited, taking up space in the family room project. I hope the kids like dinner, I hope Linnea only has one cavity, I hope I can read a book today, I hope I can make it another day on this river and not fall into the water....... I hope, I hope, I hope.....I'm not giving up on it. <br />
<br />
So I'm going to hope:<br />
I don't ABANDON my children when they need me the most.<br />
I don't NEGLECT everything around me and let it fall in disrepair.<br />
I don't HURT so much everyday, not let it consume me, take me to the dark recesses.<br />
<br />
I'm going to hope I didn't bore anyone who reads this too much!<br />
<br />
Please don't give up on hope, don't put it out to the curb in a box of mush, don't bury it in the ground with something you had hoped for, keep it in you. Keep it with you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-64757965285493480092013-05-10T10:25:00.001-07:002013-05-10T10:25:20.600-07:0014 days and counting...............14 days and counting.........<br />
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I have been neglecting many things as of the last few months. Of course computer time is one of them. It didn't help when the "blue screen of death" appeared and we had to completely replace the hard drive. Not the end of the world except for Windows 8. Not liking it yet.<br />
<br />
I have spent the last few months trying to keep my head above water. My Mom and her cancer treatment. The trips to chemo and other doctoring. The keeping her spirits up (attempting), trying to find the right thing that will make her feel better, trying many times unsuccessfully. It was brought to my attention that i'm not the one dealing with my mortality. Yes very true and I've tried to take this into account. But even with this, trying to keep someone flushing the pity pot is hard work. Its also tiring walking on eggshells. Thank you has been said many times, by Mom for taking care of her and by my siblings for taking the brunt of it. We are past the halfway mark for chemo, so that means only another 63 days til chemo is done. We will just keep waiting for the next chapter to see what else this year will hold.<br />
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In the midst of dealing with Mom, Annika had her bladder surgery. I ran the house with the help of my father-in-law from a hospital room. Surgery went fine, we were both anxious to go home the next day. I was more anxious when I found out the nurse couldn't read and gave Anni the medicine she should have only had if she was in a lot of pain. This would account for what happened over the next few days after. Annika came home tired and partially snowed from meds. She perked up the next day, then downhill we went. Annika was plugged up tight. With the help of some wonderful little medicine things turned around within hours. Within 36 hours she was back to our little demon. The countdown with her is done, we did the surgery, it worked we should be good to go (I hope) <br />
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In trying to keep my head up, I was thrown back into the deep end with Linnea. She decided to become one with the bathroom floor. I watched the whole thing. Our bathroom is small, so falling from the toilet means you will either hit the wall, door, floor, or tub. Linnea chose the first 3. We went to the ER. We had MRIs and a CT scan. Blood work, EKGs. Then a EEG, sleep deprived EEG. Telling a teenager to stay awake is not a easy task. We have seen a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, and a cardiologist. All to be told that something doesn't quite seem right, but lets wait another 6 weeks to check things over again and make a decision then. But in the meantime your child can't ride her bike, climb a mountain, run with her friends, be left alone. Oh and lets put her on this medication that will probably make her feel like shes in a fog, afraid to walk up stairs, or for that matter be afraid to leave the house. Oh yes this is so much better. So more days to count down for the next chapter.<br />
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The one who doesn't cause any ripples, my Ulrik. He decided splashing was more his style and puked all over my feet. He is having a hard time with Grandma being sick. So he sees the social worker at school 1 day a week. We are letting him wear his "chemo cap" to support grandma one day a week to school. This seems to help, but then again he still looks hurt. I try so hard to make sure he doesn't feel left out with the girls getting so much extra attention. I'm not sure I'm succeeding, there it is again a mothers guilt. I try to take him by myself to his guitar lesson, that's our 45 minutes together with no one else. We usually sneak a treat along the way, but he can never keep it a secret. I guess he won't be a senator. <br />
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And then my husband..... he decides to have a ulcer. Oh make that 2. At least it explains his constant complaining about his "heartburn". I really should buy stock in Alka-Seltzer and Tums. Medication, and more testing to come. Yup another next chapter in the year. <br />
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Now this weekend is Mothers Day. A time to celebrate Mom. ME,ME,ME! I don't like Mothers day, I haven't liked it in 14 years. My first Mothers day was spent without a new baby in my arms. People around me trying to forget or avoid what had just happened. My husband, wonderful Mr.T, got me a ring (well 2, but) it wasn't expensive, it isn't anything overly special. But it hasn't left my finger in 14 years. Even when my old crappy wedding ring broke I always had on my "MOM" ring. When I got my new ring made I debated about welding my new ring to the old "MOM" ring. In the end I'm glad I did. Its still always there, its a symbol that no matter whether we had more children or not I will always be a Mom and someone was making sure I wouldn't forget it. My children know that its just another day. It just gives them a excuse to maybe be a little nicer to each other, indulge me if I want to go to the cemetery for pictures, or leave me alone if the tears start rolling. But just because I don't like it doesn't mean I can completely forget the fact that I am a Mom or all the wonderful women I have in my lives that are Moms. I will say Happy Mothers day to you, but please don't expect flowers, cards, or candy from me. I have my children all of them to be thankful for, but I don't need a special holiday to remind me or them of how important we are in each others lives. Without Zachary, Linnea, Ulrik, Baby Bailey and Annika I wouldn't have the title of MOM, I'm perfectly content with getting a quick hug or cuddle everyday to make me feel special. There's still many more chapters in that book to be written.<br />
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And then there is the 14 days......... 14 days till school is out. 14 days till I have to remember to feed all the kids, remember sunscreen, keep Danger Dude in the plastic bubble. I see a broken something in the future this summer, why not, not like the year has been all stellar. Remembering to sit down each day and work on reading and writing. But yet its also a time to stay up late, stay in bed longer, camp out in the yard, explore. Can I make sure that there is some fun in summer this year? I'm not sure yet, I'm not sure about the summer chapter. I don't think 14 days to prepare for 3 months is enough. <br />
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This is the song that is playing in my head right now, at least the most appropriate to post. I am TITANIUM, I will not fall.<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRfuAukYTKg&feature=player_detailpage">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRfuAukYTKg&feature=player_detailpage</a><br />
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Enjoy your weekend.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-11905189439842037222013-02-25T08:56:00.001-08:002013-02-25T08:56:59.739-08:00Final countdown....Its been a few weeks since I've really had time to do much for me. Well Piper is content, and everyone else is at school so time for me. Annika had strep throat for almost 2 weeks and we didn't know it. She had no other symptoms, mostly based on the fact that her daily antibiotics to prevent UTIs were suppressing things. The naughty bugs have left the building, thank you and hallelujah!!! We had the IRIS pancake breakfast. I think it was a great success. While there it was announced that IRIS is getting a house. No more office front, I'm so excited to go see it when its ready. I like many other IRIS families were heartbroken when the original office flooded last year. Thankfully the angels have been patiently waiting to welcome everyone home. Linnea and Matthew won at BINGO. Linnea won twice and being gracious gave her second winnings to Ulrik who had worked his kester of all morning. Everyone went home happy and full of pancakes and bake sale items! For Annika this translated into 5 cupcakes over the course of 5 hours. The kids did a great job helping out. I quit therapy on my foot. I have the knowledge to work on it on my own. It was just one more appointment to try to keep track of. I determined we ate out waaaaaaaayyyyyy to much in the last month plus. I counted Domino's receipts and determined we had eaten over 50 pizzas from there. I think it's time to lock that website on the computer. <br />
Now onto the countdown......<br />
Today is Monday. Two more days till Wednesday.<br />
Wednesday is a big day. <br />
Wednesday is the day Mom goes back to the oncologist. Wednesday is the day we find out if the cancer is gone or if there is more. We find out what treatment may be necessary, or if any is needed. Big day. <br />
For me there's something equally important. My husband turns 40. Oh my 40!<br />
When I think about all he has done and overcome to get to 40, it makes me look at all I've done to get to 35.<br />
A, of course I was born (duh). <br />
B, I survived childhood. I didn't have a bike helmet (would have come in handy when I ran into the parked car), I rode on a 3 wheeler, I flipped over the 3 wheeler. I came out a stronger person due to the bullying(teasing in my day). I learned empathy dealing with my Dad being sick and in a wheelchair, on crutches, in a hospital bed. I learned how to cook, thankfully I improved on this accomplishment. Painfully evident on my waistline and hips. I learned how to be a friend. I do fail at being a good friend some days as I get to wrapped up in my life to remember to check in with others. I learned to accept ME, march to the beat of your own drummer, hard lesson, but important. C, I graduated high school. I managed to do it after failing Algebra for 4 years. I didn't have to dissect anything (thank you lord), I never got sent to the principals office and I had a rocking station wagon. I took my ability to play an instrument and used it to go to Germany and Austria my senior year. I was able to experience my heritage. Granted it was under the watchful eyes of chaperone's, but I saw a world so full of history that is really where my story began. <br />
D, I became a wife,I met Thomas. Who knew all those nights he pulled doubles would have gotten him a king size bed and 4 kids.<br />
E, I've been to hell. Made it back with the stretch marks to prove it. The trip to get back has put me in such a completely different place then I would have ever imagined i would be. I ride the river of grief everyday, a consolation price for my initial trip. <br />
F, I became a Mom. In school my best friend Ruby would joke I was going to have a dozen kids and treat them like donuts. Well I would have loved to keep going but Mother Nature, my heart and God told me to stop I really don't think I could handle a new baby and a new teenager at the same time! I just wish someone had shut off the biological clock when they shut off my fallopian tubes. <br />
G, Ive learned so much, I've met some amazing people, Ive watched my butt expand, Ive had pain, I've felt pain, I've grown from pain. Ive given life, I've watched it be taken away. Ive cried tears of sadness, tears of joy and tears for no reason at all, other then the commercial made me do it. There is so much we have done, will do, and are doing right now, that is simply amazing. Simply awesome, and simply terrifying. Has my life to today been a horror, a comedy, a drama, or an action filled story? (I watched some of the Oscars last night,sorry) Do our lives play out like a combination of all these? I really think they do, but the good guys don't always finish first. Sometimes they come in dead last but they did it. The money doesn't always just flow.(sucks but hey very rarely do the bank robbers NOT get caught) , the cars aren't always pretty and fast ( hey have you seen the granny van) and everybody feels real anguish, pain, and heartbreak. But everyone feels real joy, real excitement( even if it is just a package from Amazon). Ive been trying so hard to practice what I preach and that is find one thing to be thankful for everyday. Easy, thank you for another day...... wrong dig deeper my friends. Friday I was thankful for the voice from the backseat, belting out "Stars" Saturday I was thankful for getting a cup of hot chocolate with Linnea and listening to her without having anyone else to interrupt her. Sunday I was thankful I finished reading a book to Ulrik, I didn't enjoy the book, but it was the time I spent with him and only him reading it. Today, of course I'm thankful for breathing, easy peasy. Ive already been thankful many times today. I said "thank you" to Thomas for going to work today. I said "thank you" there were still frozen waffles for breakfast. I said "thank you" the kids all went to school. But I haven't yet had the one special thing to come across yet, the day is still young it will come.<br />
Last on the countdown, Friday. i get to spend some quality time with one of my favorite partners in crime, my little sister Catie. Our quality time will be spent in a tattoo parlor, in opposite chairs getting fresh ink. I'm so excited. <br />
Our song of the week is "Stars" by Grace and the Nocturnals. Hearing it from the mouth of a 4 year old is music to my ears.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml7TmC__eDc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml7TmC__eDc</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-10148662718990427442013-02-06T06:40:00.000-08:002013-02-06T06:40:26.003-08:0014 years and i'm still standing......<span lang="EN">Happy 14th Heavenly Birthday to my first born, my born still, my special angel, son Zachary.<br />
<br />
<br />
Missing Piece<br />
<br />
by: Libby Schmit<br />
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I never held you in my arms,<br />
<br />
but I carried you within me for 263 days.<br />
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I only have things to remind me of you,<br />
<br />
but you have the piece of my heart you took the day you went away.<br />
<br />
My life is forever changed, <br />
<br />
my heart will never be whole.<br />
<br />
You will always have the missing piece,<br />
<br />
deep within your soul.<br />
<br />
</span><br />
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</span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-10608780613096962632013-01-23T08:58:00.001-08:002013-01-23T08:58:21.062-08:00Juggling can be painful.............Wow, how many balls can you keep juggling at once? I personally can not juggle real balls, not a prayer! With my vertical imbalance I'm lucky I can stay standing some days. But apparently I'm quite adept at "juggling." My skills will be seriously put to the test in the next weeks.<br />
2 weeks ago my Mom went in for her physical, she had mentioned a change in a old scar on her breast but just left it alone for the holidays. The mammogram was clear, but the doctor opted for additionally testing. A ultrasound saw something, so then onto a biopsy. The biopsy revealed it was cancerous. Then started a whirlwind of appointments and testing. A MRI confirmed there was a mass, over 6cm. Ok, next step deciding on a single or double mastectomy. Mom said "I have no attachment to these things, take them away." Ok, double it is. So then came more waiting and finally surgery yesterday. Well all said and done, there was cancer in both breasts. The left one had just not been detected on any of the imaging. THANK YOU ANGELS for helping push things in the right direction. Now we head into recovery mode. As Mom was laying in the hospital bed last night in and out of it, we knew she was going to be fine when she was still able to crack a one liner and flip me off. Hoping today she will be more awake and coherent and able to get up and move a bit. We will not know till the 6th of February if she will need chemo or not, but we will throw that ball into the air to juggle if necessary. Its going to be a interesting few weeks as Mom enjoys sitting still, but isn't all about being the patient. She will just have to accept this and enjoy it. Shes earned it. <br />
Juggling the tween, in 2 more days Linnea will officially be a teenager. Officially she will be there, technically I think we have been there since September when school started. She has her moments when I see glimpses of my little flower, giggly, sweet, silly, and just a plain goofball. Then there's the days of her tough girl attitude, loud music and growing up. She loves her 80's hard rock, her dark clothes, and hiding in her room. Such a adjustment.....<br />
Juggling the preschooler............. Attitude Annika, so opinionated. She knows what she wants and she is not afraid to tell you. She has nothing wrong with calling you names to get it. She is becoming very familiar with a kitchen wall! I don't know if it is added stress at home or if something has changed with her kidney reflux. We have had almost 1 or 2 accidents a day and this has not been a problem since she was potty trained. I changed her appointment to sooner to meet with the doctor about surgery. So throw another ball in the air, because its looking sooner then later. <br />
Juggling the boy, there 's not much to juggle here. Other then his energy and want for yet another Skylander, Ulrik is such a easy keeper. He is helpful, quiet, understanding. He looks so forward to every moment he gets to play the Wii. To run to the store with just me, to share a secret treat between us. He really enjoys when we get to sit and read before bed. I feel badly when it doesn't work out to give him this quiet time together. But yet he just keeps rolling along with it all. Oh I hope HIS teenage years stay this easy!<br />
Juggling the husband............ We have been dealing with Thomas and his acid reflux for awhile. It has gotten to be plain annoying!! He decided the other day to "screw it" if the medicine isn't working then fine I'm not going to take it. So today it off to the "gag me with a spoon" doctor to see if things have changed. So............am I looking at the possibility of a third surgery for the year?? I have a feeling definitely more doctoring. UGH!<br />
I'm trying to keep sane, while juggling. I painted half the kitchen yesterday while waiting to hear how Mom was. I think I might just have to go get the paint to finish the other half tomorrow. Ive got the bathroom to paint still, but Ive been stalling on that one, so I can change things a bit. New cabinet and light take a little extra time and money. Annika and Ulrik especially love to craft with me. I found a salad spinner for under 5 bucks at IKEA. They have been patiently waiting to try to make some spin art crafts of sort. I'm looking forward to it also. We just made our donation for the upcoming IRIS fundraiser. Ulrik and Annika had a blast helping to pick out fleece and stuff our "Hooters" I hope everyone enjoys them. <br />
Juggling, I have Moms recovery and subsequent care.<br />
Juggling, Linnea becoming a teenager<br />
Juggling, Annika and her kidneys<br />
Juggling, Time for Ulrik<br />
Juggling, Thomas and the acid<br />
Juggling, every ones schedules<br />
Juggling, Zacharys 14th heavenly birthday<br />
Juggling, Juggling, Juggling. <br />
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<span class="grand">You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.</span><br />
<span class="huge"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/eleanor_roosevelt.html">Eleanor Roosevelt</a></span><br />
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A couch full of Hooters<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-54668175385114533212013-01-09T09:03:00.002-08:002013-01-09T09:08:13.952-08:00Happy Anniversary!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well 14 years ago I stood in front of family and friends and the head honcho upstairs and married this guy with a southern drawl, red hair and tattoos. In redneck fashion we had us a shotgun wedding, with the knowledge that the little one inside me would be appearing in less then 6 weeks. We had originally planned on waiting until August of 1999 to get married and have the big party and wear the fancy clothes. I woke up right after Thanksgiving in 1998 and had a feeling come over me that told me we needed to get married sooner then later. I think back now this was probably Zachary chiming in. So we looked at a calendar got days off work and had things planned, plotted and invitations in the mail in less then a week. We looked through the closet found some dress clothes and we were ready. We picked a day that neither of us can forget the date. Thomas can never use that excuse, <br />
<strong>1-9-99,</strong> pretty damn easy!!! <br />
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Our lives forever changed the day we said "I do." Little did we know how much our lives were going to change in less then 4 weeks after that. We had our marriage seriously tested and we hadn't been married for a month yet! We have been to hell and back together and survived the trip. A little banged up but we are still standing. I have been so blessed with my self proclaimed a-hole. He continues to provide for our family and me. He gets up every weekday to go to work, so I can continue to be a CLO(chief life officer) sounds sooooo much better then homemaker, wouldn't that make me a carpenter?! He puts up with my food, lack of fabric softener in his clothes, and my super corny sense of humor. I put up with his attitude, video games, and his warped sense of humor. Together we make a pretty good match. We communicate, that is the most important thing we have. We also went into this relationship with the knowledge that we could not change each other(well Ididn't say waistlines) but we needed to change together to grow together(again I didn't say waistline). We have maintianed our individual selfs, but have also melded into what I think is a pretty amazing couple(toot,toot, my own horn). We have been blessed with 3 amazing children here on earth and 1 amazing angel upstairs.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup, im corny like my Mom!<br />
Linnea 2002<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup, I got my Dad's voice, Roar!<br />
Ulrik 2004</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup, I got Mom's cuddly nature, but Dad's firey red hair and attitude to match, the best of both worlds! <br />
Annika 2009</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Holy Moly this kid is crazy!!!<br />
Ulrik and Linnea 2004</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All our children together!<br />
September 2008</td></tr>
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All these things wouldnt have ever come to fruition if he hadnt stayed late one night at work and offered up his pager number(dates us a bit) and I hadn't thrown caution to the wind and paged him a couple days later. Im forever grateful for whatever spirit picked up my hand and led it to the phone. Thank you Thomas for a amazing 14 years, I'm looking forward to the next 14 and many more after that. I love you!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Woo hoo 14 years!!!!<br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/m5TwT69i1lU">Our song. Louis Armstrong, What a wonderful world</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-49795997438108008182013-01-02T14:15:00.000-08:002013-01-02T14:15:40.030-08:00Happy New Year!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy New Year! </span><br />
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Christmas Eve before Church</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Wow how the time flies, another year. In 7 days Thomas and I will be celebrating our 14th anniversary. Then 23 days later our "little flower" Linnea will officially become a TEENAGER!!! With those days counted comes another countdown, 35 days will be Zachary's 14th birthday in heaven. In the words of Annika "holy wackamole" 14 years, 13 years, all these events feel like they just happened a few years ago not past the 10 year mark already. To think, yes I already have a teenager who is a amazing part of our lives, and soon I will have a second one who can argue back, haha! I am praying for beautiful calm weather on both January 25 and February 6. I will be setting the alarm and waking up Linnea to do something very special for her birthday. At 2:12 am we will be awake celebrating her entrance into the teenage years! Pictures to come. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">We had a wonderful Christmas. on the 22nd my brother, sister and their families came over and we demolished a crock pot of sloppy joes and desserts. The kids got to spend time together, annoying each other and playing. Christmas day was just ours. The kids didn't get up till after 7. I had the alarm set for 730 so Grandma had time to watch them open present before work. Santa brought some nice and needed items. Annika had the best line of the day with her first gift. "This isn't what I asked for!" She asked Santa for only 2 things, a nightie with her twin "Merida" from Brave on it and Meridas horse "Angus". The first present was a tshirt I had made. After being shown that there were more gifts she decided to wait and see if it was there. And yes the last present was indeed what she had asked Santa </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Annika and Angus</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Annika and her twin Merida</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm0JpsW4ZmbzkHSVEK0RGvhS4Ws0UoOC9ZN59xaw-qT4idSDDmXz6NTA8c7BtkKRCQRa8nXARcIyayLHQEJFSXzL9mqzAPNrrIlk6sUS2XfYtIVOMgyl24IScBb6_p63OkEAATAkaaUtrJ/s1600/december2012+057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm0JpsW4ZmbzkHSVEK0RGvhS4Ws0UoOC9ZN59xaw-qT4idSDDmXz6NTA8c7BtkKRCQRa8nXARcIyayLHQEJFSXzL9mqzAPNrrIlk6sUS2XfYtIVOMgyl24IScBb6_p63OkEAATAkaaUtrJ/s320/december2012+057.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ulrik and his knives</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Ulrik received his first and second pocket knives, and Linnea received a pile of pens along with 700 sheets of paper in a binder. That will hopefully save a few notebooks so we can make it to the end of the year. We spent the afternoon watching "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" and the timeless classic "A Christmas Story" I think we watched 12 hours of the 24 hour marathon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Christmas break was relaxed with nothing to do but the daily house stuff. I got to sleep in with the kids, lounge around all day, play outside, play referee, and spend time together. On the 29th we went to Thomas' sister Tina's house and had another round of good food and good company. So many memories have been made around the kitchen table. Maybe its the food that gets everybody settled there or its just where so much live centers around that brings us there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">We had snow over break which was great for the kids, but not for me. Once again I'm on the injured list. Maybe soon I'll find a way to get off of it. Bonus part the kids shoveled the driveway......TOGETHER!!!! No argument (gasp!) They were rewarded with Pizza Hut for dinner, again no argument! </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They did it together!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">We all slept through the New Year. New Years Eve the kids were treated to a fireworks display in the neighbors backyard. It was quite spectacular for about 15 minutes and then "BOOM" the yard lite up bright red and the show was done. No firetrucks, no ambulance so it was all good. Thomas and I spent time watching "grown up" movies that had no animation in them. I've got the instant que on Netflix down from 357 to 350. I'm working my way there! </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Today everybody went back to normal. Kids back to school, Thomas back to work and Annika and Piper storming the castle together, and after a week apart storming is exactly the way its been. By Monday morning everyone, including me will be sliding back into our routine. Lets hope we can infuse a little magic so it doesn't become so plain old day in day out the same. I'm sure I can find a recipe on Pinterest for PIXIE DUST! Everyone is slowly coming home, first Linnea and next will be Thomas and then the boys and Grandma. Time for me to bring the clean kitchen to life and make a dinner for my family, here's some pictures of December at our house.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpKJ481plfsrZaSaqSH3iOiVHnbh17CxQBS7MHo2ocLxFJGKeNTILDYvu0EIjkhWHxgauyDmFJq8f-znVMa62LNOOEBp4efgxNgkvL1KTjiHm0yjanIDxEeUdxnejByaCG-SNabbUKj5zQ/s1600/december2012+064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpKJ481plfsrZaSaqSH3iOiVHnbh17CxQBS7MHo2ocLxFJGKeNTILDYvu0EIjkhWHxgauyDmFJq8f-znVMa62LNOOEBp4efgxNgkvL1KTjiHm0yjanIDxEeUdxnejByaCG-SNabbUKj5zQ/s320/december2012+064.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The boys in the hats I made them that actually FIT!!</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-85001341408783811172012-12-13T05:44:00.003-08:002012-12-13T05:45:53.183-08:00Christmas 2012<br />
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Well another year has passed us by. It is crazy how being busy makes time fly, I thought it required throwing the clock! Lets see how things went around here.....<br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Linnea turned 12 in January. She survived the 6th grade and made the "A" honor roll once and the "B" honor roll 3 times. She continues to excel at Math, thankfully she got Thomas' math genes and not mine. In April she had her 1st communion at our new church along with her cousins. She started confirmation classes in September and is learning a lot of things she missed by not attending Sunday school over the years. I'm thankful our pastor is open to lots of questions. On Thanksgiving she completed her second 5k Turkey Trot benefiting IRIS. She remained relatively healthy until school started and then once again we began fighting with all the bugs. After some testing we found a vitamin D deficiency and once again her Iron very low. This has been a ongoing problem since she was a infant. Hopefully now with the right combo of vitamins we have her on the right track. She is very much into music, especially the 80's, who knew our cassette tapes would find a second life! You can find her these days in her room writing and rocking out to her stereo or like a young teenage girl, on the phone or now days on the computer emailing and instant messaging.<br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ulrik turned 9 in September. He has continued to grow, grow, grow. I'm hoping we have slowed down for just a little while. He is patiently waiting for basketball to be offered through school so he can give it a try. His feet are now wearing men's shoes, I'm not sure he can swing track with his gunboats! Ulrik had a great year of second grade and was very excited for 3rd grade since he has his same teacher from last year. He adores Mrs. Tuma and works well with her teaching style. He continues to be all boy, this summer he got sidetracked by a nasty infection in his knee after a "Danger Dude" moment on his cousins bike. It took almost 10 days of heavy antibiotics to get him back up to cruising speed. Thankfully "chicks dig scars" because he has another keeper. Right now he is starting to learn to play the guitar and he is busy with finger knitting, its a start, hopefully next year he will move up to real needles which will make Grandma Carol very happy. We are also still quite the legomaniac, building many creations from the floor of his room. He still very much enjoys his superheroes and shooting the "emenies." Very rarely will you find him sitting still, unless he's knitting or reading.<br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Annika turned 4 in August. We very quickly picked up on potty training in June and haven't looked back, this was awesome considering the issues we have had with her kidneys which delayed timing abit. She started preschool in September and has quickly picked up her alphabet and numbers. She loves to do her "homework" and write her letters and numbers. She really enjoys being crafty with her scissors, paper, and crayons. We are starting to learn to tell time, and to learn to read also. She very much enjoys annoying Linnea, a task I think she takes pride in. Ulrik and Annika enjoy annoying each other also, but you can find them often building with the pink Legos and chatting. In October we ventured back to Children's to see how her kidney reflux has progressed, unfortunately it appears we will be having surgery next year some time to have a ureteral reimplantation on both kidneys. We did discover that her right kidney is tipped which could be part of the reason healing has stalled on that side. Good news those is the left kidney has completely healed. She continues to be the spitting image of her father with the curly red hair and the spitfire, stubborn attitude to match.<br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Thomas continues at Xcel Energy, he has been with the company for 13 years this past June. For Easter this year I was able with some help to give him a big surprise. His Dad came and visited from Georgia. He was very, very surprised! This was a wonderful visit for all. The kids enjoyed teaching Grandpa how to bowl and play Ping-Pong on the Wii, and Thomas got to spend some time reminiscing with Dennis. I continue to be the CLO(Chief Life Officer) of the house. I keep busy with keeping track of everyone and everything. With some help from the kids this years projects were mostly outdoors. Ulrik and Linnea helped transplant 2 trees to the backyard and plant Grandma’s tree in the front yard. It took them over 2 hours to dig the hole. We almost completed the rock garden but we ran out of rock. We planted tomatoes, peppers, pumpkins, and squash. We were able to can 40 jars of salsa from the garden this year. We only had 1 pumpkin make it and we picked the squash too soon, but we are learning. We had a lot of busy days this summer with my nephew Matthew(8) and niece Piper(2) still coming over for daycare. I helped out with crafts at VBS and got a new partner in crime at the same time. At the beginning of November the flu hit our house and knocked me down. I ended up with a ear infection that spread to the surrounding tissue and nerves. It was a little frightening when the doctor tells you not to be home alone. The right side of my head was numb, I had no voice and had limited use of my right arm. I had my first and I hope only MRI. Thankfully we caught things in time before surgery became necessary. With antibiotics and our chiropractor I'm almost back to fighting shape. The kids enjoyed this time as we all camped out on the couch sick together and I had no voice to tell them what to do! I have been teaching myself how to crochet with mixed results. I started making dishcloths and have moved onto hats and scarves. I attempted a pair of fingerless gloves, but after the first one, not being able to fit anyone but Bigfoot, I decided to not attempt mittens anytime soon. The kids and I completed the "Little House on the Prairie" series this winter and are now working on "The Boxcar Children" We enjoy our reading time. I continue to volunteer with IRIS. Thomas and I once again manned the kitchen with wonderful help for the pancake breakfast. My biggest contribution with some help from my Mom was using my knitting machine to make 500 blankets for a training session. I was literally up to my elbows in yarn and blankets! <br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>At the end of July we a wonderful family vacation to Itasca State Park again. We took Grandma Carol with and everyone RELAXED!!! We went to the Mississippi Headwaters quite a few times. The goal was to not leave the park except for 1 day and we succeeded. We experienced the headwaters in the morning, afternoon, and at dusk. It is amazing how nature changes so much depending on the time of day. The kids enjoyed picking up rocks for the garden and walking in the Mississippi, they also enjoyed plenty of pool time at the cabin. Many hours were spent enjoying mother nature and her bounty. Thomas and the kids went hiking and again climbed Aitin Fire tower. Linnea has made it to the top twice, Ulrik made it further then last time. We were fortunate to have wonderful weather the entire week, it rained starting at 2am the day we left. <br />
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We hope you have had a wonderful year and been blessed with good days. The road might not always be smooth, but its still a fun ride.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The heart of Christmas is hope<br />
We need hope.<br />
We need Christmas!<br />
The New Year gives us time.<br />
We need time to grieve.<br />
But most of all to Heal.<br />
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I wish you the gift of peace </span></div>
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from an aching heart;<br />
I wish you the gift of </div>
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strength for the day ~<br />
I wish you the gift of recognition,<br />
I wish you the gift of remembrance,<br />
I wish you the gift of care,<br />
I wish you the gift of belonging,<br />
These are the gifts I wrap in prayer,<br />
And loving send your way.<br />
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May the memories of this Season<br />
Come on Gentle Wings and<br />
Bring you, your family and friends<br />
Love and Peace.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Rockwell; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell; font-size: x-small;">Merry Christmas from heaven,</span></span></div>
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Zachary Andrew</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLBngVHy60p-Sci5l3gTP36d2LZMW8jnTQrPzLXkyIGe0MwXEVJpsTdIUauuvw4SWtKfCEuJffnhhVFy4tBtF-WXh8WopbA6lujRODQy1J91MVt7uT00CQcXzTDILuj5136MEXU5VTQwBE/s1600/scan0037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLBngVHy60p-Sci5l3gTP36d2LZMW8jnTQrPzLXkyIGe0MwXEVJpsTdIUauuvw4SWtKfCEuJffnhhVFy4tBtF-WXh8WopbA6lujRODQy1J91MVt7uT00CQcXzTDILuj5136MEXU5VTQwBE/s320/scan0037.jpg" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Linnea 7th Grade</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfcHz33uULC70qiVBIkn6XcbgdAFHkQLsmEtyUsXBbUEMgmYiMsWMvg5q_4MKHhyphenhyphen800M0eAkB6_VuF-SMRtE4fGngli-PQKLGPdyySziNp77-JNesjgnUk_WT_t6NFCLmedZonDgkrH-s9/s1600/scan0036.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfcHz33uULC70qiVBIkn6XcbgdAFHkQLsmEtyUsXBbUEMgmYiMsWMvg5q_4MKHhyphenhyphen800M0eAkB6_VuF-SMRtE4fGngli-PQKLGPdyySziNp77-JNesjgnUk_WT_t6NFCLmedZonDgkrH-s9/s320/scan0036.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ulrik 3rd Grade</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Annika - 1st day of preschool</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas card picture<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>We hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Love and Peace</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Libby and the Crew</strong></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-13404897203828148612012-11-01T09:51:00.000-07:002012-11-01T09:51:26.006-07:00Well its another cloudy,cool day here in Veseli, but I'm snuggled down in the house where it is a balmy 70 degrees. It feels like there is a window open somewhere in the house which just tells me, I need to finish sealing us in for the winter with the help of 3M and a hairdryer. <br />
Annika has been trying to convince me she could wear her new winter boots to preschool. I convinced her to wear her sudo suede boots that served as winter boots last year because we had no snow!! Unfortunately we have had our last wearing on them as all the kids feet are deciding to grow within weeks of each other. Linnea is wearing a womans size 9 and Ulrik is a mens 7!! Right now my nearly 13 year old and 9 year old can wear the same size shoe!!!!! Crazy how school starts and then they grow. Thankfully I've learned over the years that its not worth buying clothes before school starts because they will start to grow on the second week.<br />
We have been enjoying the fall weather with great fanfare. The kids get bundled up and head outdoors for a hour or so in the afternoon which helps me to get dinner ready and helps me even more to get some energy out. If life works out this trend will be continuing for awhile. Last night was pleasant for trick or treating. I handed out candy while Thomas and the kids were treating with some friends of ours. It was nice that the weather cooperated and everyone was done before we started to lose feeling in all fingers.<br />
Thanksgiving is fast approaching, which means Christmas will be even faster approaching. Ive been very busy learning to crochet so I can give the kids the one of a kind presents that I enjoy making for them. Whether they are truly appreciated or not, to me its the thought that goes into them. Christmas isn't all about how many Lego sets or gift cards you can get and I feel its important to remind the kids of this OFTEN! Thanksgiving is bringing us together for the IRIS turkey trot. Ulrik is the most excited about doing his second 5k. I think he would enjoy doing one a month if possible. <br />
The last year seems like a blur in so many ways. I guess that's what happens when you are flying by the seat of your pants most of the time. We have had birthdays, anniversaries, good days, bad days, special moments, vacation, the passing of the school year and the starting of another. It just seems obscene to consider it is the first of November already. I feel I still have so many things to do before I can recycle the calendar. Theres rooms to be painted, pictures to take and hang, more crafts to start and finish, more books to read, more things to show the kids................... but life is really a perpetual calendar. It just changes when another event pops up and you have to adjust to having a real teenager in the house or a official preschooler(who thinks she's a teenager), or you cross something else of the "honey do list". Its life and it doesn't stop even if you want it to, just to let you off and catch your breath. I am truly thankful for each and every moment of it and I don't always stop to look at it. Finding a moment to stop and look can be exhausting, just looking up and finding you are smack in the middle of "that moment" is the reward.<br />
I had a moment of complete and utter silence a couple weeks ago, it was only me, the house and the dog. I can count on one hand how many times in the last 13 years I have had moments like these. It disturbed me. I felt out of my element. I love the hulabaloo of everyday life, I enjoy the sounds of the kids bickering, wrestling, giggling, spitting toothpaste in the sink, or sleeping. It was just me and me and my thoughts alone are consuming, I don't like it. But on the never ending river of grief I had a bit of a "aha" moment. How many times had I wondered if things had been different if Zachary had lived, how many times have I wished he were here? But I realized that he has lived, through me I have kept his name in our house, I have told his siblings about him, I have seen him in each and everyone of the kids. He is here with us, in spirit, in my thoughts daily, in my prayers at night. The world may not be able to physically see him or touch him, but for me (the wacko typing this) he is here. He helped pick out 3 of the craziest, wonderful kids. He has helped grab his brother by the scruff of his neck to keep him from breaking a limb in one of his "DangerDude" moments. He has held Annikas hand as she went though her first surgery and all of her nasty testing. He has helped Linnea to be inquisitive about life. And he has helped hold our hands when we need a little comforting. <br />
Zachary is not a missing piece of our family but rather the glue that helps to keep it stuck together. <br />
This is my birthday present to myself. I am the large dragonfly and there are four small ones. Each represent my children. Two blue ones for my boys, two pink ones for my girls.<br />
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MY CHILDREN AND ME ALWAYS.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0rDD2egu6m2YixjaMsy0c6Ey4wId6pflBX4AeMzEJv3p_8nr5lcrw02XCAqcTsV76Jecrb2VOt2xmB-xxkPggTMJKxuCs1xPqj3IV14Zj943ibQQb6vy1JAVBYrtr1ph_VLUbUb27f7zj/s1600/2012-10-089509.26.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0rDD2egu6m2YixjaMsy0c6Ey4wId6pflBX4AeMzEJv3p_8nr5lcrw02XCAqcTsV76Jecrb2VOt2xmB-xxkPggTMJKxuCs1xPqj3IV14Zj943ibQQb6vy1JAVBYrtr1ph_VLUbUb27f7zj/s320/2012-10-089509.26.41.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-40647304449776476832012-05-03T10:21:00.001-07:002012-05-03T11:02:29.616-07:00Intentions are like (bleep) we all have them. <span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Well intentions have gone out the window. I think I'm going to and then something different comes along or gets in the way. For my sanity I think I'm going to just start remembering I fly by the seat of my pants more days then not. Life gets hectic even when all you've done is sit on the couch playing with yarn all day. I would say I'm going to try harder but I always say that and disappoint myself so I wont say it anymore (well at least for a week or so). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> So life has been busy, no surprise. Easter we had a great surprise Thomas' Dad came to visit. It had been almost 5 years since we saw him last. We had a great week together and Annika even warmed up to him by the end of the week. She is still questioning me about his house and his pool and if he will fill it up before we get there next summer, boy is she going to be shocked to find out its not her little kiddie pool! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Spring/summer is still arriving here so its been try to make the yard pretty time. I'm thinking the neighbors are wondering what the light is in the kitchen all night, its a GROW LIGHT!!! I was a little slow this year and needed some help. I have my morning glories sprouting, so now I just need to get my new planters ready. Today I got the pansies, petunias and tomatoes planted. Hopefully with some help this weekend I can get the old laundry tub painted and planted for the tomatoes also. Hard part is after trying to be wonder woman and get so much beautifying done I severely sprained my pectoral muscles on both sides of my chest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> After moving 3000 pounds of rock, which was in 50 pound bags. I moved it from the pallets at the store to the car, from the car to the driveway, from the driveway to the yard, and then had to dump them all out in their places. Things are looking great but my arms don't go over my head, oh wait they don't like me to do much at all. Lifting a clothes basket or 30 pound kid is excruciating. Bonus to all this after 5 hours in the ER found out I'm healthy, my heart works great (2 EKGS and lots of blood to prove it), I don't have blood clots (chest xray and ultrasounds on both legs) and my blood pressure is excellent ( I have the bruises from the auto cuff). So if this weather will hold and I can keep stretching maybe by mothers day ill be back to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> The kids have been soaking up every ray of sunshine they can. We love sun!!!! They have tolerated the cloudy windy days also, and after last night I have a feeling that Ulrik will be out in the rain. In front of our house is a hill with a drainage ditch across the bottom. This is made extra swampy by our sump pump draining there. Ulrik has figured out how to safely navigate through this muck with his bike without wiping out. Now he is working on how to jump the sump hose and head down the ditch without having to lift his bike over it. Linnea joined in this task also. I'm sure my laundry pile is going to be increasing a bit! Summer vacation starts in 14 days, I am trying to plan some small day trips to parts of our state that can be interesting. And I also volunteered to help out with Vacation Bible School. I'm looking forward to both items. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Mothers day is approaching quickly. On Sunday the 6th mothers such as myself have our own day of recognition. It is International Bereaved Mothers Day. For all he mothers of baby's lost. I'm hoping the weather will hold to be able to sail a sky lantern at dusk. I'm not sure where I'm going to set this off, after looking at the cemetery its going to have to be very calm to not have to worry about the trees. Hopefully it will work out well otherwise maybe at dawn. Mothers day is always a bittersweet holiday because of Zachary. But I also have to think of my other beautiful children. Its wonderful to know now that on the 6th I can concentrate on Zachary and on the 13th celebrate with the other kids. For my first mothers day after Zachary, Thomas gave me a ring it says MOM on the outside and has a row of diamonds on top. It is now welded to my new wedding ring. It has been my constant ring. Its nothing extravagant but it means so much to me. Possibly even more then the emerald ring he also gave me that day. Its just a constant reminder of all we went through to get to that day, to today and tomorrow and so on........</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-10255170989810608122011-12-30T09:16:00.000-08:002011-12-30T09:16:55.311-08:00The Christmas letter is done!!!!<span lang="EN"> I finally got the christmas letter done. We have had sick kids, migraines abound for me and a lack of Christmas Spirit. It is finally snowing today making it feel like Christmas now that it is the New Year.<br />
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By the time this reaches you we will already be into 2012! I can't believe its already a new year. The weather here has been so depressing with no snow it was so difficult to fine the Christmas spirit. So on to our year.<br />
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On January 25, Little Linnea turned 11. She went away from home for the first time. She went with her 5th grade class to Sandstone Minnesota to a environmental learning center. She had 3 days and 2 nights of (roughing it) sleeping in dorms and learning about Minnesota. She also learned some survival skills that she has tried out a few times just for fun. She finished up Girl Scouts in May and completed 5th grade. In July we had major surgery. She had her tonsils and adenoids removed. Surgery went just fine, recovery was a little rougher. After a week and a half we found out she was allergic to the codeine in the pain meds. After getting her off the medicine we had a complete turn around. She has not had any problems with the recurring strep, sinus infections, and tonsillitis that we had for the last few years. In September we started 6th grade. She continues to grow into a wonderful young lady.<br />
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Superhero Ulrik has continued to be busy. He is our residential LEGOMANIAC. He builds, builds, and builds. He loves to play outside in the fort and demon ride on his bicycle. He finished 1st grade and this fall he started in a combined 2nd and 3rd grade class. He loves the challenges and independent learning involved in the class. Ulrik found a new summer pastime with Uncle Scott and that is semi tractor pulls. They enjoyed quite a few this summer. For his 8th birthday on September 10th they went with Thomas to the last pull of the season. The boys had a blast! Ulrik was the recipient of a G.I.Joe cake made by me, everyone was very impressed. Ulrik also had his tonsils out in July (FINALLY!!) . He needed to be duct taped to a chair by about the 4th day as he was rip roaring and ready to go. Thankfully we haven't had any problems with sleep apnea or strep since. He continues to be all boy!<br />
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And then there is little Annika Louise she has grown so much this last year. She loves, loves, loves to chat. She has had fairly good health this year. We had the stomach flu in January and again over Christmas. We had our first bladder infection after the doctor tried taking her off her daily antibiotics. Needless to say we are back on them! At her kidney appointment in August the urologist says her reflux continues to improve and we will just keep monitoring. Potty training has been the biggest challenge. Annika turned 3 on August 23. I made her a Princess Tiana cake that she just loved, the bonus was getting her own Barbie when the cake was done. In October we started going to ECFE for some outside interaction. She made lots of new friends and can't wait to go back in February. Annika spends alot of time playing with her baby dolls, and now her kitchen. She continues to be a redheaded little firecracker with the temper to match. But we sure do love her.<br />
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Thomas and I continue with our daily tasks. He at Xcel Energy and me in my position as Home Executive. In January we celebrated our 12th anniversary with a nice <br />
<br />
dinner out. In February we spent a day playing Mr. and Mrs. Pancake at the IRIS annual pancake breakfast. Thomas is wonderful in his ability to keep things moving smoothly and swiftly so we can do our part to make it a success. In March Thomas went to Alaska to visit his best friend (brother) Bracy before he deployed to Afghanistan. While there we received news that his older brother James had passed away suddenly in Ohio. He was fortunate to be with family since we were unable to mourn together. Thomas spent alot of time at work this summer. Most of our storms hit on Friday and Saturday nights which lead to alot of long weeknights. In September things slowed down so we were able to enjoy a family weekend together and away from home. We spent a weekend in Rochester. We took the kids to a truck show Saturday morning and they learned alot about the different semis out there. Our favorite of course is a Peterbilt. We then had pool time and relaxed. Thomas, Ulrik and my brother went to the truck pull and the girls and I meet my Mom and sister at my cousins wedding in Lanesboro. It was a beautiful day for a outdoor wedding. The girls had a great time. On Halloween we had another death in the family as my Uncle Bob passed away. I've continued to volunteer as my time allows for IRIS. I've also started dabbling in cake decorating. I do enjoy the reactions from the receiver of the cake. This January I already have 3 requests for cakes. I continue to watch my sisters kids Matthew and Piper. Matthew is 7 and Piper is 18 months. Annika and Piper keep me on my toes all day! I do so enjoy being able to watch everyone grow up. <br />
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We all had a wonderful Christmas as Annika was in recovery mood from a stomach bug, Ulrik had also made a complete recovery from whatever had struck him a few days earlier. Santa Claus was nice and brought something everyone had asked for. The kids agreed that without snow it just didn't seem quite like Christmas. We are finishing enjoying a couple of quiet days with just us. My sister took vacation the last week of December which has allowed for some much needed sleep for me, my day typically starts at 5am and doesn't stop till about 10pm, and the kids the ability to just hang out and not have to share me with anyone. <br />
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<div align="CENTER"> We hope this finds everyone in good health and spirits. We wish everyone a Happy New Year and belated Merry Christmas!</div><br />
<div align="CENTER"></div></span><span style="font-family: QuigleyWiggly; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: QuigleyWiggly; font-size: x-large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: QuigleyWiggly; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: QuigleyWiggly; font-size: x-large;"><div align="CENTER">Many Blessings,</div><br />
<div align="CENTER"></div><br />
<div align="CENTER">Libby, Thomas, Linnea, Ulrik and Annika Schmit</div><br />
<div align="CENTER">and Angels Zachary & Bailey</div><br />
<div align="CENTER"></div></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"> <br />
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<div align="CENTER"> </div></span></span><span style="font-family: JasmineUPC; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: JasmineUPC; font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: JasmineUPC; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: JasmineUPC; font-size: large;"><div align="CENTER">I thought about you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have is memories and a picture in a frame. You're a keepsake in which I will never part. </div><br />
<div align="CENTER">God has you in his keeping; </div><br />
<div align="CENTER">I have you in my heart. </div><br />
<div align="CENTER"> Merry Christmas to all our special Angels.</div></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-40550402457123064062011-11-10T17:55:00.000-08:002011-11-10T17:55:43.110-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-xFaJUZRkQM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This may not tickle everyones funnybine but at our house "fart" is a frequently used word and action. This made us all laugh alot. Brings back those akward days of dating and the question of "do I or dont I?"</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-32198329813334105272011-11-10T17:49:00.000-08:002011-11-10T17:49:34.423-08:00Good intentions, redone.......!Okay I'm going to get better at this I really am! Life just gets the better of me so many days. i started writing the kids birth stories to put in their "special boxes" and I'm only to getting sent to the hospital with Linnea's! Life is been so much better so far this school year. In July Linnea had her tonsils and adenoids removed and Ulrik those tonsils that have been a problem since he was 2. Only took 6 years to find a great ENT who looked at them and said "uh yeah those should have been gone a long time ago" Thank you Dr. Jones. Every time we say his name the kids start humming the song by Aqua "Dr. Jones" Everyone is doing fantastic at school. Even little Anni Lou and I go 1 day a week to ECFE and have a good time. I forgot how much I need the outlet and input of other moms going through similar things. I do feel kind of old hat at being a mom considering most of them have kids 7 and under. Oh well. It also made me think OMG Thomas and I have been together 14 years as of Thanksgiving in a couple weeks. WOW who would have thought my getting the guts to ask him out at work would have led to our shotgun wedding, followed by the biggest challenge any marriage should ever face, 3 more kids, a miscarriage, family strife, family life and the hope to so many wonderful days and years ahead. I have an amazing life and I am trying my best to continually wrap my head around all of it. It is 7:30 and no nap nonni lou is looking very tired. Time to start readying the gang for bed. I'm really enjoying reading the Little House on the Prairie series to the girls each night. I am such a dork because I cant wait to read what happens next. I do not remember hardly any of the story from when my mom read them to me many moons ago. Living in Minnesota I do have some roadtrip ideas for this summer that pertain to the book. As long as i have exhaust on the truck by then,hahaha! If anybody out there still cares heres is something new other wise ill just keep writing to myself.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-47958821156065539472011-03-09T09:49:00.000-08:002011-03-09T09:49:25.567-08:00Ive been a bad, bad girl....Once again my good intentions have been sidelined by everything else. I have been sick, the kids have been sick, and life just gets away from me. <br />
Last Thursday i ended up loading up the little girls and taking Linnea to the doctor again. This was after having her in the previous Friday. She has been complaining about her ears bothering her. Turns out her ears are fine, but she has a sinus infection. Once again onto the antibiotics we go. Once again more missed school. At conferences on Monday this was evident in her barely passing math. Granted she is in a seventh grade pre algebra class but missing class and the lesson the first time definitely impacts the learning curve. Her teacher is wonderful and understands being ill and is more then willing to help. Linnea isn't always willing to ask for the help. I kindly informed her to do everything she can to get the help that is being offered. In 6th grade my math teacher told me I wasn't going to figure it out after 6 months of trying so he was not going to help me anymore. This set me up to fail math in 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grades. I still have a hard time with math. The kids love to ask me obscene math questions where I have to find pen and paper to figure it out, or use the tried and true method of air writing. Her teacher said she will be fine for the rest of the year and next year she will stay in the same class. I pray that my message of her teacher isnt going to give up on her to just keep trying sinks in. Now the complaining has started about having to do the Science Fair. She has excelled at all other projects set before her, I assured her this one could be fun. Shes not really buying it. She is enjoying getting a stern talking to about her preteen attitude. <br />
Ulrik and I got into a door war this morning. I have removed his door once already. My plan was to leave it off for 3 days. He couldn't go to sleep that night without his door. This morning he pushed me out of the way of the hinges. I assured him one more slam and his door would be meeting with a snowbank in the front yard. His teacher said he is so wonderful and such a great kid. I do agree I love him to pieces, but i am beginning to feel Linneas attitude wearing off on him.<br />
I spent 3 hours at the vet with Toby and Annika yesterday. 3 hours!!!!!! Is it really possible for them to take any longer to get you in and out. After dropping a chunk of change, and leaving with a migraine that wouldn't let loose until after I went to bed, I have a sick dog who thankfully has quit throwing up. I also think I may have found a way to save some money each month with making his food. Dairy Queen was on the way home and I had to have a Double Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard. I figured I had earned this after sitting there for 3 HOURS!! Annika was so well behaved. Im so glad I have memorized so many books to keep her entertained.<br />
I treated myself to a cut and color last week. I am now a deep chocolate brown with a hint of red in the right light. I would have loved to go for something way more dramatic, but I dont have the money, or time to devote to getting things redone every 2 months. My mom was not real crazy that im darker then before, but I kindly reminded her of the 2 dye jobs in the past that i did myself that went terribly wrong. Black with purple highlights, and pumpkin orange with a hint of white. Yes after that she said oh it does look good. Thanks Mom.<br />
Thomas is leaving for Alaska in one more week. I am excited for him that he is getting to do something exciting. I am excited for me because I have alot of painting to get done. Hopefully the kids won't be to nutty without Daddy for a week. Annika will be a little difficult as her constant where is everybody might get a little confusing. She knows when and where everyone should be. Maybe we will have to find a map.<br />
Winter needs to release us from her grasp. We are all suffering from lack of fresh air, green grass (at this time i would settle for brown), and warmer air. We are suffering from SNOW FATIGUE. Someone my mom works with coined this phrase. I agree. We are all fatigued from the snow. And guess what its snowing outside right now. I hope the summer comes by the time we go on vacation in July. Its beginning to look less likely every flake I see.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/CXgoJ0f5EsQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Onto the next project. Have a good day.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-83819368022427313762011-02-10T10:44:00.000-08:002011-02-10T10:44:40.739-08:00Another one bites the dust...One of my favorite songs by Queen. The bass line alone is a hint to what song is coming on. Just like Hearts "Baracuda" another all time awesome song. I waas finally able to turn my ipod on today and listen to it. This was the first song that came on. Totally fitting for the day, week, month....<br />
After feeling like my head was in a vise and someone was constantly tinging a triangel in my ears for the last week, my head finally feels like my own again. The triangle stopped playing for a few hours and gave me some relief. I went to the doctor on Monday when I was in pain and I felt like I was in a fog. I was the lucky recipient of a sinus infection anddouble ear infection. When I get sick I go all out and do it right. I think its getting to be time to go take some more tylenol and ibuprofen because the ringing is starting again. But so far today I have accomplished wonderful things. 2 loads of laundry, 6 drainers full of dishes, breakfast for 3, and for the afternoon 4 teddy bears to stuff, 12 jars of salsa to fill, 3 cookie jars to make, and lots of paperwork. It is the annual Infants Remembered In Silence Pancake breakfast, silent auction, and bake sale. So I have been BUSY!! to say the least. But I only was down for one day when i could not handle life this week. Between my Mom and I we have cut, sewn and stuffed 18 bears as of this time. They are named secret bears as they have no eyes to stare you down, no mouth to spill the beans, just 2 fluffy ears that will hold anything you tell them. They are also squishy soft and cuddly. We have estimated that in the past 5 years we have made at least 150 of them. Typicaly they are for the silent auction and quite a wanted item, but i've also given them as gifts to a few lucky people. Everyone needs something to tell their secrets to, to tell them about their pain, guilt, happiness, and sometimes to cry with.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHE74D4080Oq66ItcWKnNF0TYihnhFViW11rAnBjhyXIE9emlrvBcYbJWMUB1_4prcCHQ4a5p87Mr4AGba4yghVTMw0-2N_cga1Qr3ctTielgXE8P8QgxiVbV23zY_fkwHQ1LhW-xVtUtX/s1600/008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHE74D4080Oq66ItcWKnNF0TYihnhFViW11rAnBjhyXIE9emlrvBcYbJWMUB1_4prcCHQ4a5p87Mr4AGba4yghVTMw0-2N_cga1Qr3ctTielgXE8P8QgxiVbV23zY_fkwHQ1LhW-xVtUtX/s320/008.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Last years teddy bear collection.</div>Time to be done, my ears are ringing so badly right now, Ulrik is home sick and Annika is his enemy today. Trying twos are almost done, what do they say about 3's?????Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-12648305921154398782011-02-07T06:58:00.000-08:002011-02-07T06:58:20.901-08:00The faceless child...A somber post...<br />
Yesterday would have been Zachary's 12th birthday if he was here with us on earth. Instead it was his 12th heaven birthday. As the snow fell softly last night I thought of it being confetti raining down from the celebration they might have had. Then of course my thoughts turn to the what ifs. What if he was here? What would we have done to celebrate? What would he look like today? What would he sound like? Would he drive me bonkers like his siblings? What would, what if, what, what, what.... These questions run through my head daily as the other kids are doing their daily things. They are not as frequent as when Linnea was little and the mere question of something small that she had done would bring me to tears. "Would Zach have liked to crawl around with a strainer on his head? Would Zach have sat and looked at that book?" At the hospital later in the day after Zachary had been born, I turned on the TV. It was nothing exciting, it was Looney Tunes cartoons. I started to cry, realizing I would never get to watch these with Zach, never get to tell him how I used to watch them when I was younger. It was cartoons, something lame and insignificant, but yet so significant in my future without my oldest child. I did not know how I would manage after that first day. But yet I have managed. I have done it for 12 years, and one day. Tomorrow with be 12 years and 2 days and so on. Zachary is with me everyday, he handpicked the 3 children that follow me around everyday. He picked Linnea to be gentle, caring, helpful, and sweet. He picked Ulrik to be sensitive, caring, athletic and funny. He picked Annika to be a cuddler, helpful, sweet and headstrong. I feel he had a hand in the children that he wanted to be his siblings. It used to FREAK!!! me out when Linnea was around 3 and 4 and she would tell me about playing in heaven with Zach. I wouldn't always acknowledge this just because it was hard to comprehend. She would play quietly in her room and I would hear her talking, she would tell me she was playing with Zach. Ulrik never said anything like this to me, Annika is still too little, (but she has been having alot of tea parties lately). It just makes you take a step back and think. I'm not a overly religious person, but I have to believe in a higher power because I have a little boy who lives in heaven with all the other special people i've lost. I ask my Dad,Grandma, Monte and Sylvia to give my babies hugs and kisses every night because i can't physically do it. I send hugs and kisses on shooting stars hoping they will catch them. Am I off my rocker, have I gone wobbly (english for Crazy new favorite word around here). No i have not because there are other parents just like me out there who do the same thing.<br />
There is only one small picture of Zachary in our house. It sits on a shelf in my room with the other kids hospital pictures. I had no pictures of Zach until 6th birthday. I received his pre autopsy photos the only pictures of him to prove he existed. I photo shopped the best of the pictures to make it look less clinical more like he would have looked had we taken pictures at the hospital when he was dressed in his gown, cap and wrapped in his blanket. I have other things around that represent my faceless child. I have angels around me, figurines, pictures, stuffed bears. I have his birth announcement as I walk into my bedroom. I have cross stitches that my mother has done, all these things bring me comfort and remind me he is still a part of this family. I don't have pictures that everyone can see, I don't have pictures everyone wants to see. All I have is little things here and there to remind everyone there is one more kid in our lives. Some people remember some have chosen to forget. I will never forget, I remember everyday at least once an hour.<br />
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Well to start big news, Linnea turned 11 on the 25th. We celebrated that day with a cake that i painstakingly decorated, and a couple presents. She received a beautiful new sweater from Grandma and 2 new shirts from the rest of us. I thought it looked pretty easy to decorate a cake. I was wrong. After 2 plus hours it was finished. Towards the end I was cruising along, the learning the technique was the killer. My hands hurt for hours, thank goodness for the nice warm dish water and the sink full of dishes to help ease my discomfort. Yes, I was thankful to do dishes (never thought i would hear myself say that!) I was thinking WOW maybe I could make a little business out of decorating cakes. Well I'm not so sure I have the time to devote myself to mastering the techniques and resisting all the frosting. Annika kept herself busy coming back for a squirt of frosting when she needed to check up on me.<br />
On Saturday we convened on the bowling alley for a couple hours of fun, family, pizza and of course CAKE! Linnea had her best friend Sydni join us along with her cousins Donna, Natalie, Matthew, and her siblings. Grandma even came with to watch the balls being FLUNG down the lanes. Annika and Aunt Tina had a blast bowling together. Annika was sooo cute when she would cheer for herself even before the ball had made it halfway down the lane. We had a good time trying to get her ball back down the lane after not enough OOMPF was used to get it to the pins. A few strikes were had and a really good time was enjoyed. Ulrik said he wasnt leaving without a strike and by some miracle he threw the ball just right and knocked 'em all down. It was a miracle to say the least. I'm not sure how many dents were left in the lane after the kids got done but I hope they don't use it for tournaments. We enjoyed the arguments over who got the corner pieces of cake as everyone is a frosting fiend. I guess I turned around to late to see the cake eating contest between Donna and Sydni. I was informed of what had happened when I asked why they had frosting on their faces and cake up their nose. Laughter was all i needed to hear to know what had happened. <br />
We are gearing up for the IRIS pancake breakfast, bake sale, and silent auction in 2 weeks. I have been busy cutting out and stuffing teddy bears. I am up to my armpits in bear carcases and fluff. The reward is the parents who end up bidding on an item just to get a special teddy bear for their child. Linnea and Ulrik are gearing up for an afternoon of BINGO! Last year Linnea won $50 and donated it back to IRIS through the silent auction. They are both hoping for a payout again this year. They also are looking forward to some fun. Thomas will be Captain Pancake again this year as he manages the kitchen. He is so good at his job they keep asking him back. I'm not sure what role I will play this year as Annika is sooooo busy. We will see what happens.<br />
Today as the last week I am dealing with someone sick. Today Annika and Ulrik have finally broke free of their fevers. Linnea started hers last night. I have been fighting one off since Saturday, but Moms don't have time to be sick. Besides the hacking cough and the party favor sneezes Ulrik and Annika are headed back in the right direction. Ulrik will definitely be able handle a day at school tomorrow. Linnea will probably hang out for the day again tomorrow. I hope she is healthy by Thursday so she can go earn her "old folks" badge with the girl scouts as they go crafting with the elderly at the assisted living residence in Lonsdale. Then Friday her troop is going to the Mall of America for a evening of fun. Saturday we are supposed to go spend some time with Tina, Dirge (George), Bram and Caitlin and celebrate everyones birthday from January and February. I hope everyone is healthy. Saturday is also the first day to sell Girl Scout cookies. It will be interesting this year because they are trying door to door sales with being able to get cookies on the spot. I hope it goes well and they all reach their goals. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXY0EslagZM7Ycyzm1W4tXedQURU1p4t0ERNp7KUD_SBp-NJLlHbqv39rN7d3yjN3f_rTYpVVIOQBg-YI2KZFCGe5mjjW9KjMhmo6UlSfzGS-sN1hyphenhyphenVGwlJ6dBqTExmwi1sPoc33lS5-9/s1600/010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXY0EslagZM7Ycyzm1W4tXedQURU1p4t0ERNp7KUD_SBp-NJLlHbqv39rN7d3yjN3f_rTYpVVIOQBg-YI2KZFCGe5mjjW9KjMhmo6UlSfzGS-sN1hyphenhyphenVGwlJ6dBqTExmwi1sPoc33lS5-9/s320/010.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJj4SHQUfeDVL1ExBUdXFPCqFtrWlPGSzURc-kzD2dGuOJFj9D-wl4dqLoSwZz51_70xhXfluBVXC_8axPy8tsm1sk5ZNCHTTJmuf-wDXc97d4puSObiqW6f9TZqjHCeEhxkojxnKV_od/s1600/021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJj4SHQUfeDVL1ExBUdXFPCqFtrWlPGSzURc-kzD2dGuOJFj9D-wl4dqLoSwZz51_70xhXfluBVXC_8axPy8tsm1sk5ZNCHTTJmuf-wDXc97d4puSObiqW6f9TZqjHCeEhxkojxnKV_od/s320/021.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Kids are fighting, my ears are ringing and I think my head could explode today. I hope everyone has had a good couple weeks and is staying healthy.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-12853794420845928102011-01-05T14:20:00.000-08:002011-01-05T14:20:27.781-08:00And I survived another day...Well this morning I put my big girl panties on. I took Linnea to school and sent her away for a 3 day 2night trip to the great "up" north. 72 fifth graders, teachers, and chaperone's are all enjoying the frigid temperatures and great snow cover in Sandstone, MN at a environmental learning center. Linnea was very resistant about going. She has what she calls "sleepoverphobia" She has only made it once or twice at sleepovers at friends houses. I assured her she will be so worn out from all the outside activities and learning she won't be able to think about missing her bed. I was fine until I left the parking lot. What in the world?! Why am I upset. The upsetting part, another stage in growing up. This made the realization that she isn't so little anymore. Something that i'm sure every parent faces. Realizing that their "baby" is growing up. I understand more now how my sister-in-law was feeling when she sent her baby off to college. Linnea will be turning 11 in a few short weeks. Its not so much knowing shes getting older, its the wondering have I done the right things, am I helping to lead her in the right direction, down the path that we want our children to go down? I guess as a parent we don't know until our children reach those moments that test them. <br />
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The fact that Linnea is going to be 11, only adds to my "out of sorts" feeling. The river of grief is long and winding, it never ends. Some days it flows smoothly and slowly smoothing over the rough pebbles beneath it, some days it roars and spills over the banks it has carved. Zachary would be turning 12. I can't believe that I have been on this boat that tosses me about, offers me soft waves that lap at the side of my vessel to sooth my soul, and sometimes just plain drenches me for TWELVE years. Wow.<br />
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Speaking of rivers Annika is wearing her "hippi" shirt again today. If she could she would wear it 7 days a week. We found it when we went on vacation this past summer. It proudly boasts " I walked in the Mississippi River" We ended up having to wash it out in the sink on vacation and dry it over night. Im hoping that it holds up for a few more months, I have a backup hiding in the closet, but I have a feeling I will be buying another one this summer when we return. She loves this shirt. She comes running out of the room yelling "hippi shirt, hippi shirt" She is so proud of her prize. I wondered if she remembered going there, did she remember walking in the river? I got my answer when I turned on the computer, proudly displayed as my background is a picture of the kids from vacation, after they walked in the river the first time. Annika shouts over my shoulder (into my ear of course) "Hippi!" looking at other pictures same reaction. I hope all the kids hang onto the memories of that first time in the river and the big "family" vacation.<br />
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I pray my children never have to travel on the river I ride everyday.<br />
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Take Care Everyone<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRNVUfE9jGEZVSsbTJ_UF4O0jLkyl8D6fIm6Zwpsjpcwf6qAO0SQ60vdf9UPyWb3O50ENzWutB3Y3p1cl9URMhICsxqjiKbJERQjWM0D99kPPWb5rsQYEAHJ4x4eEjYhobw-G9f6URlU6/s1600/vacatoin+and+such+2010+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRNVUfE9jGEZVSsbTJ_UF4O0jLkyl8D6fIm6Zwpsjpcwf6qAO0SQ60vdf9UPyWb3O50ENzWutB3Y3p1cl9URMhICsxqjiKbJERQjWM0D99kPPWb5rsQYEAHJ4x4eEjYhobw-G9f6URlU6/s320/vacatoin+and+such+2010+038.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-57089175923505366282010-12-27T08:30:00.000-08:002010-12-27T08:30:35.984-08:00The carnage is over...We survived Christmas. I stayed up till midnight making sure everything was done. Thank goodness for Grandma who held off the kids till after 7am. My poor brother and his wife, the girls started bugging at 2am! Everyone loved their gifts. Linnea was very impressed with all the beautiful doll clothes that Grandma and I conspired to make right under her nose. Ulrik couldn't get to his room fast enough to start building Hogwarts(Harry Potter) castle. Annika crawled into my lap at 8am and said "bed" She was asleep by 10am. <br />
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My brother and sister and spouses and the kids all came in the afternoon. While Annika napped I wrapped all the rest of the stuff. We had sloppy joes, cheesecake and enjoyed some time together. I was so tired by 8pm I could barely see straight. I sure am glad Catie has vacation this week so I can do some catch up on sleep. Tonight is try out Annika in Linneas room again. I pray it works and sticks.<br />
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I made my Mom cry on Christmas morning. Depending on when Christmas falls she is sometimes working so it was wonderful she got to share it with us. i got her a recordable book from Hallmark(a truly wonderful store!) and had the kids read it. It was almost the best gift of the day. The next one came when we were all together that night. I had been making quilt blocks with all the kids hand prints. I told her they were for myself, Scott and Dawn (my brother and wife), and Catie and Chris (my sister and husband). Needless to say i needed her help in sewing them all together, she is so much faster then me! I secretly wrapped them up, she noticed they were gone I simply told her I put them downstairs where they would be safe. She was so grateful when she unwrapped the box. She commented later that night that she was really glad they were for her, she thought it was such a neat gift to give everyone. Don't know how I'll top it next year.<br />
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Linnea was concerned because I didn't get anything but a book I picked out myself for Christmas. I explained to both her and Ulrik that when you get older Moms and Dads buy gifts for each other. Daddy knows what I want but we didn't have the money for it right now. She still thought i got robbed in the situation. After a quick thought I told her the the way I felt " my greatest present will always be that I have been given the chance to be a Mom to you, your brothers, and sister. My gift is seeing the excitement in every ones eyes when they open up their gift and it is the one thing they really wanted. The happiness is the only gift I need." She looked at me with that preteen OMG! look and said "Mom really, that's kind of silly" I said to her "your day will come when you realize the same thing."<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I did truly enjoy mine. I did realize that my gift is given to m over and over everyday. Having Zachary in heaven makes me so very thankful that I have been blessed to have 3 more children. They may test my sanity and patience, but I would not trade a minute of everyday, moment, or OMG look for the world!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjqrc-L_DXOX5OpljZ0vIHxIQfN2rd0iHcjLgxNHmwREa_nKaZL8AiO-1dRSaaKuxFMoG8JWCjt8QmHW761H_Fvu5YOV08IeeEdGl5oguakEeP0j02aSEWg63HOnIyb7Vr0pvX9QiyEAN5/s1600/100_1056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjqrc-L_DXOX5OpljZ0vIHxIQfN2rd0iHcjLgxNHmwREa_nKaZL8AiO-1dRSaaKuxFMoG8JWCjt8QmHW761H_Fvu5YOV08IeeEdGl5oguakEeP0j02aSEWg63HOnIyb7Vr0pvX9QiyEAN5/s320/100_1056.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-4100705409691364842010-12-23T11:16:00.000-08:002010-12-23T11:16:37.212-08:00Another day closer....Well time is flying now. All the last minute things are creeping up. The baking, wrapping, and oh yeah christmas cards. <br />
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My cards aren't done. I don't even have them finished, signed or the envelopes addressed. I figure Sunday while the kids are busy playing with the wonderful things Santa brought them I will spend the afternoon finishing them and be a late person and send them on Monday. With all the snow I just picked up stamps.<br />
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Today my two oldest nieces are over. We had to work on Grandmas christmas present. Now I need to finish the present. I made quilt blocks with each kids hand prints on them. I am then embroidering a heart around them and stitching their names on also. Ambitious last minute project. I hope I don't bleed on the fabric to much from the repeat stabbing of the needle. I am wonderful with scrapbooks, picture collages, paint and many other wonderful artsy type stuff. This is very ambitious as I never finished the cross stitch my Grandma gave me when I was ten. I still have plastic canvas projects that have sat at varying stages of finished for oh... about 10 years. Usually I am not allowed to touch the sewing machine as I can not "sew my way out of a paper bag" as it has so kindly been put to me. I have a terrrible vertical imbalance that doesn't allow me to make straight lines. I magically cut the fabric, mostly straight, and sewed the squares together with a mostly straight line and a quarter inch seam allowance. I am sooooo proud of myself.<br />
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Now the kids are decorating the enourmous amount of sugar cookies that were made. I still need to surprise Mom and make some almond bark. Pretty easy request, just another thing on the list. Why is it sometimes the holidays feel more like a chore then a celebration. <br />
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Tonight we shall feast on beef stew. A real meal after a busy week. I LOVE my crockpot. Maybe thats why in the 11 years we have been married I have burned through 3 of them. I will succeed and get Grandmas present done. It will be a wonderful surprise. Now I will listen to the sounds of the kids playing dolls, monopoly and the Wii. <br />
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Another day to be thankful for. <br />
A laugh for the day.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=5VuN4P7897kAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-58810232268279257952010-12-20T15:04:00.000-08:002010-12-20T15:04:21.617-08:00Who let the kids in!?Another half day of school has graced us. As of right now we already have almost 6 inches of snow on the deck. Toby is discouraged as he has finally burrowed his way from one end of the yard to the other. A task that took him all weekend. <br />
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Our weekend was pretty good. We went to Aunt Tinas house and hung out with Uncle George(Dirge to Anni) and cousins Bram and Caitlin. Toby had his first playdate of many with Lilly and Rowan. He dragged himself to the car when it was time to go home he was worn out. Ulrik couldnt get home fast enough to play with his Harry Potter legos and Linnea wore her clothes home. Annika has put down her new doll Sandie long enough to get dressed and eat. I made Caitlin and Bram fleece tie blankets. I know for sure Bram loved his as when we left he was curled up in it sound asleep on the couch. <br />
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I made a mistake on Sunday that almost cost me all of my sanity. I had to go grocery shopping and finish some last minute christmas shopping. I took all 3 kids with. Usually not a problem but Annika has been in a funky mood for the last few days(hence the reason I had to wait till the weekend to go out). The ride home took 45 minutes instead of the 20 minutes because we had to stop twice to try to calm down Annika. So far thankfully today her mood has been pretty good.<br />
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Today had no big plans other then to try to wrap presents that Santa has left here over the past few weeks. Catie(my sister) called to say she was sick and I would have no Piper to care for. Wow I should be ahead of the game, right? No it has taken me 6 hours to bake 3 dozen cookies, I have one present wrapped, and Annika has essentially erased everything on my IPod. My printer ran out of ink so no finishing the christmas letter. Oh well. I think Christmas cards are going out after christmas this year. I did get the clothes rods hung up by the back door for snow clothes. <br />
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Now comes the wait for Thomas and Mom to get home. Thomas is already 45 minutes late. He wishes he had taken the truck to work. Im wondering if there will be school tomorrow. I need to start dinner. Usually that would be done, but is it worth planning anything when everyone is gonna be home late. Im thinking tacos in a bowl, the kids can have chicken nuggets.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib_CSf3VsP18P-S438BUA5Y3fuODX4R1rXgbadivx5wAgfeV5DJ1Cr_JQB7v2Noj0Sk75RnNoLcSqNF6x-GINZbpvgiZSCWNLdI3iqMcwfOBWZkb0B25qVe7f9MfLOT4sUrijApjKRbA7t/s1600/100_0915.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib_CSf3VsP18P-S438BUA5Y3fuODX4R1rXgbadivx5wAgfeV5DJ1Cr_JQB7v2Noj0Sk75RnNoLcSqNF6x-GINZbpvgiZSCWNLdI3iqMcwfOBWZkb0B25qVe7f9MfLOT4sUrijApjKRbA7t/s320/100_0915.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Have a good evening everyone.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-47753741643788467542010-12-16T13:24:00.000-08:002010-12-16T13:24:41.622-08:00More of the white stuff....We had more snow overnight which put a damper on my original plans to go out. Thankfully my loving husband didnt mind staying home and a)letting me sleep and b) driving to lakeville. I think the idea of breakfast at Cracker Barrel helped seal the deal. It was delicious. Toby needed a kennel. He has so far been pretty good except last night he walked up to his dog bed and preceeded to pee all over it. Thankfully he missed the carpet, but he kind of ensured himself a place on the bed. I am sure he wont be nuts about the kennel but this woman needs some sleep. <br />
Today is the holiday concert at Ulriks school. They are nice enough to do it twice. I was going to go this afternoon at 2pm and they were already parked out on the road in front of the school. Much to Annikas dissapointment I turned the truck around and came back home. Little Man will probably come home in tears that I wasnt there but to carry Annika on one arm and Piper in the infant seat almost 3 blocks in the snow I saved myself from being beached in a snowbank when my back went out. I am going to make sure we leave the house by 5:45 and sit there and wait for a half hour so that I get parking!<br />
I was hoping to finish christmas shopping tomorrow, but I think that plan has been shot in the foot since it snowed again. I have lived here my whole life and hate driving in it more and more each year. Maybe its the precious cargo I carry or the migraines that ensue after a distance. Thankfully Thomas will drive tonight.<br />
I hope everyone had a good day and stays safe.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656553968295486720.post-84860494313848001232010-12-15T08:20:00.000-08:002010-12-15T08:20:55.637-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL12ZFim5LhmEyyBXwEwG92lR6cMBYtSTZPjrTsLjEU9hcOX_8Noj8fKs8PZV6GgD3M-b-5KWi2svA5Z_qHM2hnEQ9-go9G7X-ZYl2M7pQPyxzQCNN5sL9zkE1iDo78nzZ4wKr_r6uY1_c/s1600/e98cfd418209__1292426831000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL12ZFim5LhmEyyBXwEwG92lR6cMBYtSTZPjrTsLjEU9hcOX_8Noj8fKs8PZV6GgD3M-b-5KWi2svA5Z_qHM2hnEQ9-go9G7X-ZYl2M7pQPyxzQCNN5sL9zkE1iDo78nzZ4wKr_r6uY1_c/s200/e98cfd418209__1292426831000.jpg" width="200" /></a>Toby the Harry dog Schmit</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Better pictures to come.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06429974919264655981noreply@blogger.com0