Final countdown....

Its been a few weeks since I've really had time to do much for me.  Well Piper is content, and everyone else is at school so time for me.  Annika had strep throat for almost 2 weeks and we didn't know it.  She had no other symptoms, mostly based on the fact that her daily antibiotics to prevent UTIs were suppressing things.  The naughty bugs have left the building, thank you and hallelujah!!!  We had the IRIS pancake breakfast.  I think it was a great success. While there it was announced that IRIS is getting a house.  No more office front, I'm so excited to go see it when its ready.  I like many other IRIS families were heartbroken when the original office flooded last year.  Thankfully the angels have been patiently waiting to welcome everyone home.  Linnea and Matthew won at BINGO.  Linnea won twice and being gracious gave her second winnings to Ulrik who had worked his kester of all morning.  Everyone went home happy and full of pancakes and bake sale items! For Annika this translated into 5 cupcakes over the course of 5 hours.  The kids did a great job helping out.  I quit therapy on my foot.  I have the knowledge to work on it on my own.  It was just one more appointment to try to keep track of. I determined we ate out waaaaaaaayyyyyy to much in the last month plus.  I counted Domino's receipts and determined we had eaten over 50 pizzas from there.  I think it's time to lock that website on the computer. 
Now onto the countdown......
Today is Monday.  Two more days till Wednesday.
Wednesday is a big day. 
Wednesday is the day Mom goes back to the oncologist. Wednesday is the day we find out if the cancer is gone or if there is more.  We find out what treatment may be necessary, or if any is needed.  Big day. 
For me there's something equally important.  My husband turns 40. Oh my 40!
When I think about all he has done and overcome to get to 40, it makes me look at all I've done to get to 35.
A, of course I was born (duh).
B, I survived childhood.  I didn't have a bike helmet (would have come in handy when I ran into the parked car), I rode on a 3 wheeler, I flipped over the 3 wheeler. I came out a stronger person due to the bullying(teasing in my day).  I learned empathy dealing with my Dad being sick and in a wheelchair, on crutches, in a hospital bed.  I learned how to cook, thankfully I improved on this accomplishment.  Painfully evident on my waistline and hips.  I learned how to be a friend.  I do fail at being a good friend some days as I get to wrapped up in my life to remember to check in with others. I learned to accept ME, march to the beat of your own drummer, hard lesson, but important. C, I graduated high school.  I managed to do it after failing Algebra for 4 years.  I didn't have to dissect anything (thank you lord), I never got sent to the principals office and I had a rocking station wagon.  I took my ability to play an instrument and used it to go to Germany and Austria my senior year.  I was able to experience my heritage.  Granted it was under the watchful eyes of chaperone's, but I saw a world so full of history that is really where my story began. 
D, I became a wife,I met Thomas.  Who knew all those nights he pulled doubles would have gotten him a king size bed and 4 kids.
E, I've been to hell.  Made it back with the stretch marks to prove it.  The trip to get back has put me in such a completely different place then I would have ever imagined i would be.  I ride the river of grief everyday, a consolation price for my initial trip.
F, I became a Mom.  In school my best friend Ruby would joke I was going to have a dozen kids and treat them like donuts.  Well I would have loved to keep going but Mother Nature, my heart and God told me to stop I really don't think I could handle a new baby and a new teenager at the same time!  I just wish someone had shut off the biological clock when they shut off my fallopian tubes. 
G, Ive learned so much, I've met some amazing people, Ive watched my butt expand, Ive had pain, I've felt pain, I've grown from pain.  Ive given life, I've watched it be taken away.  Ive cried tears of sadness, tears of joy and tears for no reason at all, other then the commercial made me do it.  There is so much we have done, will do, and are doing right now, that is simply amazing.  Simply awesome, and simply terrifying.  Has my life to today been a horror, a comedy, a drama, or an action filled story? (I watched some of the Oscars last night,sorry) Do our lives play out like a combination of all these? I really think they do, but the good guys don't always finish first.  Sometimes they come in dead last but they did it.  The money doesn't always just flow.(sucks but hey very rarely do the bank robbers NOT get caught) , the cars aren't always pretty and fast ( hey have you seen the granny van) and everybody feels real anguish, pain, and heartbreak.  But everyone feels real joy, real excitement( even if it is just a package from Amazon).  Ive been trying so hard to practice what I preach and that is find one thing to be thankful for everyday.  Easy, thank you for another day...... wrong dig deeper my friends.  Friday I was thankful for the voice from the backseat, belting out "Stars" Saturday I was thankful for getting a cup of hot chocolate with Linnea and listening to her without having anyone else to interrupt her.  Sunday I was thankful I finished reading a book to Ulrik, I didn't enjoy the book, but it was the time I spent with him and only him reading it.  Today, of course I'm thankful for breathing, easy peasy.  Ive already been thankful many times today.  I said "thank you" to Thomas for going to work today. I said "thank you" there were still frozen waffles for breakfast. I said "thank you" the kids all went to school.  But I haven't yet had the one special thing to come across yet, the day is still young it will come.
Last on the countdown, Friday.  i get to spend some quality time with one of my favorite partners in crime, my little sister Catie.  Our quality time will be spent in a tattoo parlor, in opposite chairs getting fresh ink. I'm so excited.
Our song of the week is "Stars" by Grace and the Nocturnals.  Hearing it from the mouth of a 4 year old is music to my ears.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml7TmC__eDc

14 years and i'm still standing......

Happy 14th Heavenly Birthday to my first born, my born still, my special angel, son Zachary.


Missing Piece

by: Libby Schmit

I never held you in my arms,

but I carried you within me for 263 days.

I only have things to remind me of you,

but you have the piece of my heart you took the day you went away.

My life is forever changed,

my heart will never be whole.

You will always have the missing piece,

deep within your soul.